Showing posts with label mentor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mentor. Show all posts

Friday, March 19, 2010

In uncertainty I am certain we have only one story.


A child may ask, “What is the world’s story about?” And a grown man or woman may wonder, “What way will the world go? How does it end and , while we’re at it, what’s the story about?”



I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one, that has frightened and inspired us, so that we live in a Pearl White serial of continuing thought and wonder. Humans are caught – in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too – in a net of good and evil. I think this is the only story we have and that it occurs on all levels of feeling and intelligence. Virtue and vice were warp and woof of our first consciousness, and they will be the fabric of our last, and this despite any changes we may impose on field and river and mountain, on economy and mangers.



There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well – or ill?



Herodotus, in the Persian War, tells a story of how Croesus, the richest and most favored king of his time, asked Solon the Athenian a leading question. He would not have asked it if he had not been worried about the answer. “Who” he asked, “is the luckiest person in the world” He must have been eaten with doubt and hungry for reassurance. Solon told him of three lucky people in old times. And Croesus more than likely did not listen, so anxious was he about himself. And when Solon did not mention him, Croesus was forced to say, “Do you not consider me lucky?”



Solon did not hesitate in his answer. “How can I tell?” he said. “You aren’t dead yet.”



And this answer must have haunted Croesus dismally as his lucky disappeared, and his wealth and his kingdom. And as he was being burned on a tall fire, he may have thought of it and perhaps wished he had not asked or not been answered.



And in our time, when a man dies – if he has had wealth and influence and power and all the vestments that arouse envy, and after the living take stock of the dead man’s property and his eminence and works and monuments – the question is still there: Was his life good or was it evil? – which is another way of putting Coresus’s question. Envies are gone, and the measuring stick is: “Was he loved or was he hated? Is his death felt as a loss or does a kind of joy come of it?”



I remember clearly the deaths of three men. One was the richest man of the century, who, having clawed his way to wealth through the souls and bodies of men, spent many years trying to buy back the love he had forfeited and by that process performed great service to the world and, perhaps, had much more than balanced the evils of his rise. I was on a ship when he died. The news was posted on the bulletin board, and nearly everyone received the news with pleasure. Several said, “Thank God that son of a bitch is dead.”



Then there was a man, smart as Satan, who, lacking some perception of human dignity and knowing all too well every aspect of human weakness and wickedness, used his special knowledge to warp men, to buy men to bribe and threaten and seduce until he found himself in a position of great power. He clothed his motives in the names of virtue, and I have wondered whether he ever knew that no gift will ever buy back a man’s love when you have removed his self-love. A bribed man can only hate his briber. When this man died the nation rang with praise and, just beneath, with gladness that he was dead.



There was a third man, who perhaps made many errors in performance but whose effective life was devoted to making men brave and dignified and good in a time when they were poor and frightened and when ugly forced were loose in the world to utilize their fears. This man was hated by the few. When he died the people burst into tears in the streets and their minds wailed, “What can we do now? How can we go on without him?”



In uncertainty I am certain that underneath their topmost layers of frailty men want to be good and want to be loved. Indeed, most of their vices are attempted short cuts to love. When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror. It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.



We have only one story. All novels, all poetry, are built in the neverending contest in ourselves of good and evil. And it occurs to me that evil must constantly respawn, while good, while virtue, is immortal. Vice has always a new fresh young face, while virtue is venerable as nothing else in the world is.



-Chapter 34, East of Eden 1952 by Nobel Prize winner John Steinbeck.


Last night, at a very small gathering, I had the honor of meeting Dr. Joseph Murray, a brilliant man, 91 years young, recipient of the 1990 Nobel Prize in Medicine, Harvard Medical Professor Emeritus, author, pioneer, optimist and Steinbeck's Third Man.


Among the many things Dr. Murray said a few stuck with me. The first, his suggestion to read Steinbeck's Chapter 34 from East of Eden, copied above. The second, a quote: "The reason why this moment is so precious, is because it will never happen again."


Dr. Murray also expressed his enthusiasm to address a small living room sized gathering, as far different from the usual lecture theatre engagements. The wide range of the audience’s age from 22 years old to seniors added to depth of the anecdotes and lessons shared. Dr. Murray stressed the three ingredients he felt were necessary to achieve significant breakthroughs (in medicine) namely, “curiosity, imagination and perseverance.” He also mentioned a few factors to avoid such as “self-importance and obstinacy.”


I believe Dr. Murray suggested Steinbeck's "What is the world’s story about?" to point out that all we are is the sum of our choices. Every second we choose. At the end of our day, and even our life, these singular choices tell the story of our life.


Meeting Dr. Murray was an extreme privilege and something I hope I live long enough to always remember. Ultimately, his message to me was: We have only one story and we are the authors.

Monday, April 6, 2009

80s Game Night - April 7

If you have always dreamed of living in the 80s (minus the blatent coke consumption and over-use of hairspray), Tuesday night is your chance.

Join OYFP and the Italian Home for Children for a night of fun and games (literally)! We'll be having Connect-4 and foos-ball tournaments, so you had better bring your A game.

On the other hand, if you bring a new or slightly used game instead of your A game (or in addition to), your entrance fee of $5 to $7 will be waived, since OYFP is all about helping the children. All donated games are going to the Italian Home after we're done playing with them. And yes, the Italian Home is quite a worthy organization. It provides schooling and care for children of all ethnicities who have nowhere else to turn.

Don't forget to put on your best approximation of 80s styles! I've included a photo of the always stylin' Designing Women for some inspiration.

See you there!

Event Details
Date: Tuesday, April 7th
Time: 7 pm
Location: Our House West
1277 Commonwealth Ave
Allston, MA 02134
(617) 782-3228
Partner: Italian Home for Children
Cost: $5 Online $7 Door
Info: http://oyfp.org/BOS/events/view/171/

Related Posts: Volunteering at Lunch; Read about Fred; Volunteering: Sara's Experience; "Stay-cation" in Boston

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Fresh Air Fund Job Opportunities


Read on for summer job opportunities with the Fresh Air Fund.

The Fresh Air Fund, “an independent, not-for-profit agency, has provided free summer vacations to more than 1.7 million New York City children from low-income communities since 1877. Nearly 10,000 New York City children enjoy free Fresh Air Fund programs annually. In 2008, close to 5,000 children visited volunteer host families in suburbs and small town communities across 13 states from Virginia to Maine and Canada. 3,000 children also attended five Fresh Air camps on a 2,300-acre site in Fishkill, New York. The Fund’s year-round camping program serves an additional 2,000 young people each year.”

The Fresh Air Fund is accepting applications for summer 2009 camp counselors. Fresh Air Fund is looking for college-aged individuals who like working with children. If you want to be a part of their 133rd summer serving children...start here.

For more information contact Sara Wilson, The Fresh Air Fund, sara@freshair.org.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Volunteering: Sara's Experience

I think people frequently don't volunteer because they're not sure how to do it, or if they'll have enough time, or even if they'll enjoy it. As part of OYFP's effort to help people volunteer, we profile volunteers just like you and me. Today we're talking with Sara Radin, a woman I work with at my day job, but who (like me), also volunteers.


Where do you volunteer, Sara?
Right now I am volunteering at the Whittemore School in Waltham as a reading volunteer. I also volunteered for the Obama campaign in the fall. In college I was my sorority's philanthropy chair and president of the BCAC (Breast Cancer Awareness Coalition).

Since Everybody Wins! is your most recent volunteer activity, why don't you tell us a little about that? Why did you start volunteering there, and where did you hear about the opportunity?
I started volunteering at Everybody Wins! because my mom is the school coordinator, and she told me how much everyone enjoys reading. Also, my employer has a program set up that allows us to volunteer during our lunch hour with Everybody Wins! called the Power Lunch program.

How many hours a week did you volunteer there? Did you have to give up anything in order to have the time to volunteer?
I volunteer for about an hour there each Friday, but it takes up about an hour and a half with travel time. I would not say I have had to give anything up; especially because it is Friday afternoon the workweek is generally winding down. Perhaps if I calculated it, I would give up some free time due to having to stay at work later on other days to get everything accomplished.

What do you do when you go to the school?
I read a book of the student's choosing for 30 minutes while she eats her lunch.

What is your favorite thing about volunteering?
Jaclyn (the student I read to) is always so happy to see me, and it is a great break from the workday, and a really fun way to spend lunch. You can tell that getting read to is something she really enjoys, and she made me a really cute Christmas present which made me realize how much of a different I made even just spending a half an hour with her once a week.

How does it compare to your other volunteer experiences?
In college, I had a sidekick (like a big brothers/big sisters type thing but specific to Colgate) but it really felt more like unpaid babysitting, so I much prefer the reading program. My other two experiences, as BCAC Co-President and Philanthropy chair, were much more about about creating and executing events for college students and club members - so more planning/fundraising driven rather than giving time.

What would you say to someone who is hesitant to jump on the mentoring or volunteering bandwagon?
Even if spending time with kids isn't your thing, there are a million ways to get involved. You can volunteer to make phone calls or stuff envelopes or organize an event. Whatever your talent or skill is, there is almost always a non-profit that could use your skills and expertise.

What have you personally (or professionally) gotten out of the experience?
I love having an outlet through work that allows me to spend my time doing a philanthropic endeavor. I really appreciate my employer more for it, and I know everyone is busy but I think people would really enjoyed it if they tried it. It has been a great way for me to dip my toe in the post-college volunteer pool, and has only made me want to do more.

So do you actually love reindeer, as your photo would seem to indicate?
Reindeer are fine. I would say I'm really more of a cat person, though.

Thanks for your time, Sara!

Our blog occasionally features sporadic profiles of volunteers in the Boston area and beyond. If you're interested in sharing your experience, please email boston@oyfp.org.

Related Posts: Volunteering at Lunch; Boys & Girls Club: An insider's view; OYFP's Intern; Sudan-Reach Women's Foundation Volunteer; Doubts about volunteering? Read about Fred

Monday, June 2, 2008

Volunteering at Lunch: It's reading time!

Every other Friday, I go to elementary school for a little learning.

Not because I failed to learn my multiplication tables or because my family died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail and I need to repeat 4th grade, but because my employer participates in the Everybody Wins! Power Lunch program.

It's not some corporate networking event where bigwigs pow-wow.
It's not about teaching elementary school.
It's not even about lunch.

It's about reading to the kids.

Specifically, the kid you have been paired up with for the year. Once a week, each of us volunteers comes to the school at lunchtime, collects our mentee from the cafeteria, and heads over to the library for a little one on one reading time.

Why reading? Well, according to the Everybody Wins! website, in two independent evaluations, Power Lunch emerged as one of very few programs documented to effectively impact low-income students in reading comprehension, motivation and achievement, as well as overall academic performance, classroom behavior, self-confidence and social skills.

Wow. I can do all that just by showing up once a week at lunchtime to read to Melissa? Not only that, but I get to field some pretty funny questions. We've talked about why 3rd graders don't need padded bras, why her sister came back from Russia, and how to pick how an interesting chapter book.

It's pretty simple, really. Since I've partnered up with one of my co-workers, I only read every other week, which allows for any intervening work issues. It all takes place during lunch - when I'd normally be drinking my Fresca and chatting with co-workers anyway. All I had to do before being qualified as a reader was to show up to a brief orientation and complete a CORI background check.

And, the whole thing was relatively easy for my employer to set up. Everybody Wins! simply asks for a small annual donation from the employers to help support the program. The staff then assigns the employer's interested volunteers to an elementary school nearby that participates in the Power Lunch program.

Really, Everybody does Win. Corporations are able to give back to the community around them. Employees are able to volunteer within their often busy work schedules and home life. And the kids, well, the kids are the real beneficiaries. More than 87% of Power Lunchers improved their reading comprehension, and were five times more likely to have improved classroom behavior.

So. Get your employer involved. Everybody Wins! is a national non-profit - bring it to your area. Make the difference in the life of a child. Make a difference in your own life.


Related Posts: Public libraries are your friend; Hats off to the Italian Home for Children; YouthBuild; Hearts and Crafts; Eyes Wide Shut

Photo courtesy of Crimfants.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Doubts about Volunteering? Read about Fred.

A lot of us are hesitant to volunteer - I think in large part due to doubts about the amount of time we think it will take, and the length of the commitment.

"But what if I want to go on a snowboarding trip to Austria?"
"What if I have to work late?"
"What if I want to move to another city?"

Well, Fred C. does all of that and more - read below about his experience volunteering in Boston.

Where do you volunteer?
Big Brother Big Sister in Boston. My little brother lives in Roxbury.

Why did you start volunteering at Big Brothers Big Sisters, and where did you hear about the opportunity?
I started volunteering because I was involved in coaching in Little League and youth soccer teams. I enjoy these very much, but I felt I was missing out on making that more personal one on one connection with the kids. This way I can become more involved in making an impact on a less-fortunate child’s life. I actually heard about this at an OYFP event (whiskey tasting) and signed up on the spot.

Nice! So OYFP is making a difference. Anyway. How many hours a week do you work there? Did you have to give up anything in order to have the time to volunteer?
My little brother and I usually get together every two weeks; the weekends work best for both of us. We’ll usually spend between 5-7 hours together when we hang out. I don’t really feel like I’m giving up anything when we get together. It’s nice because it gets both of us outside, and since we’re both active (and competitive) we can have a really good time.

What do you do with your little brother? Do you ever have a hard time coming up with activities?
We have gone rock climbing a few times, played some baseball, and basketball. When it’s cold or rainy out, we’ve played Nintendo Wii for awhile. Again, as it’s a fairly active game, and we’re both competitive, it’s lead to some intense (but very fun) tennis and boxing matches. There is always something to do - and the activities make it easy for us to get to know one another.

Oooo a Nintendo Wii. I just got one. There's nothing like a little sweating and yelling at your TV. I hope you two haven't "accidentally" thrown the Wii-motes at each other...
Not yet, no.

What is your favorite thing about mentoring, besides playing competitive Wii?

My favorite thing about mentoring is having that one on one relationship with someone and knowing you’re making an impact on that person. It’s also nice to see the progression of friendship starting with the first time I met Terrell, my little brother, up to this point. At first he was a bit shy and didn’t talk that much. Now, he’s very talkative, and we give each other a hard time when we play sports or other activities, like friends would normally do.

How does it compare to your other volunteer experiences?
This is definitely different, in a good way. It’s nice to be someone that can be depended on for someone who hasn’t had luck with dependable people in the past.

What would you say to someone who is hesitant to jump on the mentoring bandwagon?
I’ve spoken with a few people who may have heard horror stories of hyperactive kids who don’t listen, or whose parents basically use it as a babysitting program. I haven't had that experience at all. People are also hesitant to commit - but meeting twice a month really isn't a big deal.

What have you personally (or professionally) gotten out of the experience?
I feel like I’m actually making a significant impact in someone else’s life, but not only that, I’ve had a lot of exposure to his community, and it’s given me the opportunity to reach out to others as well.

When you move to Chicago this fall, will you find a new little brother?
It will be hard to say good bye to Terrell, but I hope I can continue to make a difference, even if it's not in Boston.

Fred (on the far right) tells the whippersnappers how to play ball.
(We didn't have any photos of Fred and Terrell, but you can see Fred's clearly a good guy, involved in his community.)

This story is part of Casey's series of interviews with people who volunteer. Past interviews can be found on the OYFP Boston Blog.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I am Legend, today.

The hugely anticipated movie I Am Legend, staring the well-known actor Will Smith, premieres today. Blockbuster actor Smith normally plays a legend on the silver screen but here is how you can be one IRL (In Real Life).

Granted, you might not have the same skills as The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but you can still be a legend. How? Become a mentor. Impactful? For sure. The qualities of a successful mentor include, but are not limited to: being supportive, patient, people-oriented, a good motivator, respectful of others, an effective teacher, and self-confident.

Mentoring makes a measurable difference in both the lives of the mentor and mentee. MassMentors.org says that "all children have the potential to succeed in life and contribute to society. However, not all children get the support they need to thrive. Consider the many benefits mentoring offers, including:
  • Improving self-esteem
  • Keeping young people in school
  • Helping to improve academic skills
  • Leading young people to resources they might not find on their own
  • Providing support for new behaviors, attitudes and ambitions
  • Increasing young people's ability to seek and keep jobs
  • Enhancing parenting skills”

Make your mark on this world, however small, and become someone’s legend.

Big Brothers Big Sisters or Mass Mentoring.